Lost But Not Forgotten
by angeliclin
Summary: How does one cope when tragedy strikes?


**Lost But Not Forgotten**

_Fate._ The one word Theresa believed in her entire being no longer held no more value than a penny. Growing up, she believed life was a story, she only had to live out the pages of plot. That if she wanted something bad enough it would occur. A deal of dirty tasks embarked the white clear pages, as every turn of her life held another endeavor she truly didn't deserve. Heaven was her hope, Hell was the title. She lost things unable to be gained, burned items that couldn't be glued together - and her family knew. Skepticism and the truth kept them afar and they were right, after twists of her terrible fairy tale she began to doubt the word itself.

Looking at the picture frame she held in her trembling hand, a tear trickled down her face, allowing the salty taste to enter her mouth as she quietly wept.

_How did she end up all alone? _

Lying back down on the bed, she continued to stare at the photograph of a young couple. The tall, lean man was standing behind the beautiful woman. She could almost feel his arms wrapped around her shoulders, embracing her as if he'd never let go. Content and happy, smiling widely, evidence of happiness sparkled in her eyes.

The past. A revengeful and frustrating word that tackled possibilities and ruined the future. With a quick throw she watched the glass shattered into a million pieces. Each dangerous speckle lay on the carpet, every piece a reminder of the mistakes she made.

One of her biggest regrets was loosing little Ethan to Gwen and Rebecca. They had won the custody battle to her first-born child - and thus she had let them win the war. Leaving Harmony tore her inside as she realized the baby boy would be raised by two of the most heartless women known to mankind. Yes, Ethan would be there, but even that comfort was nothing. Ethan was their b, obeying their every demand. He loved Theresa but chose Gwen.

If you love someone for so long, how could you not want to spend the rest of you life with that person, no matter what? Luckily for her, she saw the true Ethan. He was a spineless coward, constantly claiming to do the honorable things. Ha! He was obviously _in Denial_. Honorable meant you honored your wife, not cheat with a knife in her back.

But she couldn't place all the blame on him because she was at fault. She pursued the unpursueable.

It took her whole life to realize this. She was no longer the naïve woman she once was. Life had changed her. Fate had almost destroyed her. But she endured and would endure no more. She was starting over.

Carefully maneuvering off the uncomfortable bed, she treaded towards the dreary window. Looking out, she surveyed the lonely freeway. The quiet town in an isolated location was what she needed to gather her thoughts and plans. Her future was unclear, but she would set a goal for herself. Do everything she could to see it through.

A warm liquid ran down her legs. Remaining calm, she moved towards the phone to make an urgent call that would define the first step in her future.

----

Trying to drown out the ringing sound of the phone, he gave up. The caller was persistent. "What the hell do you want?" he bellowed. "You better have a valid reason for calling me at six in the morning. People sleep you know," not caring if he sounded rude. The nerve of some people calling him in this godforsaken hour! Silence briefly followed before the caller spoke.

---

Waiting in a room that was smoldering with tension, the man nervously paced. Ever since the call that morning, he had flown out to a small town undefined on a map. Exhausted from the lack of sleep and jetlag, he was irritable. Running a hand through his messy hair in frustration of the wait, he took a long, deep breath, hoping to calm his nerves.

Deciding that pacing wasn't making things easier, he sat down, grabbing a Sports Illustrated magazine. Flipping absentmindedly through the pages, his mind drifted back to the past two years. Bittersweet memories…

"Mr. Crane," sent his eyes to gaze at a weak smile holding no solace. Years of practice had left the doctor emotionless – painstakingly unattached to patients as to save his own heart from tearing. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this," he swallowed running a hand across his balding head, "but your wife didn't make it."

The urge to shake the man's body until he cried was hard to control. Fox wanted to rip the white jacket off the man and tell him he was wrong, so wrong. It was too painful to look at; bringing the lost of the woman he loved into reality, a reality he would rather not live in without the knowledge that he was sharing it with her. But inside he knew…She was now in heaven, he was as sure of that as he knew he was the one who ultimately killed her.

"Mr. Crane, are you alright?"

Fox wanted to shout at the top of his lungs, "Do I look all right to you?" but he couldn't speak. The pounding of his broken heart made it difficult to just hear the doctor speak.

"About the children-" Fox stared coldly at the man before him.

"They're doing fine, a boy and girl. Healthy as can be-" He was tuning in and out, a radio constantly catching waves of what the characters were trying to say in a story.

Then with a gasp he conjured up a word, "What?"

**---**

Lounging on a lawn chair, Fox lovingly watched his children race across the pool, taunting one another. Their laughter filled his heart with joy, reminding him so much of himself and Theresa. Although they shared a bond as strong and solid as their parents, it was a different type of love – that of twins. It was excruciatingly unbearable deciding the names of his children without Theresa by his side. After countless hours of thinking, he found two perfect names.

"Theresa and Nicholas, it's times to wash up for your birthday party." Quickly the children got out of the pool, reaching for towels.

Drying her long black hair, Theresa gave her father a brilliant smile, one that matched her mothers. When the nurse first placed her in his arms when she was a newborn, he almost dropped her because their resemblance frightened and pained Fox at first. Even then, he was able to tell that she was as stunning as her mother, from the cute little nose to the large, soulful eyes. It seemed as she inherited everything from her mother except for her cunning wits. Although Fox wouldn't admit this to his little princess, he would do his best to give her everything her heart desired.

Her best friend and brother, Nicholas Jr., was a splitting image of their father. The blonde hair was a shade darker than Fox's but it had the same messy sweep that made him adorably attractive. He had a fiery spirit that his mother exuded and a confident aura about him, even at his young age. Born seven minutes before his sister, he took his responsibilities as being the oldest child seriously. His protectiveness of his younger sister matched that of Luis.

After drying off, they gave their father a kiss on the cheek and thanked him for throwing them a party. The siblings hurried to get ready to change into appropriate clothing for the zoo. Both his children had a strong love for animals and were thrilled about being able to show their friends and family member how they spent their Saturdays volunteering.

Their retreating footsteps allowed his mind to drift off to familiar thoughts about the person he loved and lost. _Theresa._ When she died, she took a large portion of one of his most protected possession, his heart, with her. She captured it the moment she was able to see beneath the disguise of a professional deceiver. His facade of indifference was the only thing that helped him tolerate his painful, lonely childhood that was filled with nannies and boarding schools. He was only "graced" by the presence of his heartless, self-absorbed parents when he purposely wreaked havoc in search of attention. His miserable experiences growing up shaped him into the hard, remorseless person who never developed a close relationship with any woman.

The meaninglessness life he came to endure was forever changed by the presence of the last surviving hopeless romantic. Her unfailing acceptance of who he was as an individual, including his flaws, shattered the evasive, noncommittal person he believed he perfected. He took a leap of faith in allowing himself to gradually open up to her, sharing a part of himself that he hid from the rest of the world.

So when Theresa suggested that they become a couple, Fox was hesitant at first, unsure of this capability to fall in love. Deep down, he knew he was of terrified of loving someone who didn't return the feelings. If his own parents couldn't love him, their own flesh and blood, how could anyone else? He was not willing to put himself in a situation where he'd openly allowed himself to get hurt. But eventually he gave in to her because they both needed one another as companions. Believing and trusting the other with their whole hearts, they were willing to explore the possibility of friendship gradually developing into being in love. Who better to fall in love with than your best friend!

But the love he never imagined finding was right in front of him the whole time – in Theresa, his best friend. So when he developed a profound love for her, he was baffled and terrified. The urge to run away in hopes to avoid the possibility of pain was tempting, but he remained planted by her side because he realized it was worth the risk. Keeping his newfound feelings to himself, he waited for the perfect moment to express his love. Unfortunately his anger consumed him when Theresa…tried to become pregnant by... It was a thought he was never able to complete.

He couldn't help but visualize the way Ethan wrapped his arms around Theresa as they experienced the most intimate way of expressing love. That the child she was carrying was Fox's but Ethan's. It was more excruciating than her stabbing him in the back and letting him die a slow, horrible death. Suffering from anguish, bitterness and emptiness, he hurt Theresa by going after her other best friend. He reverted back to the old Fox Crane - the one who went after whatever he wanted without thinking about the havoc and grief he may cause in the process. He sunk lower than his dear old dad and grandfather, upholding the scandalous reputation of the Crane men. But at the time, he didn't acknowledge that Theresa was being herself. Jumping into her scheme head on without looking at the consequences and impact, she was only focused on one person – Little Ethan. As irrational as she was, she did what she thought was the only alternative. Trading one child for another. He didn't understand it then and as a father, a part of him would never be able to, but what he comprehended was the deep pain etched in her eyes when she found out about Whitney and him.

The acknowledgement that he was the reason Theresa hastily left town brought his life to a standstill for months until that tragic phone call. No notes were left for her family and/or friends. His pride and hurt prevented him from searching for her and when he finally hired private investigators, it was too late. One life was taken to give birth to two new ones. It was what she wanted the doctor told him. All that mattered was that the children to grow up and live a happy life with their father – Nicholas Foxworth Crane.

Shocked and devastated by the events, he had to recover quickly because Gwen and Rebecca demanded he hand over the babies to them. Remembering how his adorable babies felt in his arm, he profusely refused to do so. They were the best gift anyone had ever given him – a piece of Theresa left on Earth. Her forgiveness was shown through her trust that Fox would ensure their happiness.

A custody battle ensued and the DNA tests proved that Theresa correctly named the father of the precious twins. With Theresa's death, the mother-daughter lowlifes eagerly aborted their scheme with Little Ethan, handing him over on a silver platter. It was the means to an end, trouble far off in the distance, but for Fox, it was a _future_.

The end.


End file.
